Ryan Lochte is basically a real life version of this guy
LANCE FISHMAN OMFG
(via justintimberloch)
O sugar daddy, sugar daddy. Where for art thou Sugar daddy?
Deny thy frugality and refuse thy common sense
Tis but thy lack of money that is my enemy
(via chainsawpunk)
au where gatsby and nick get married and gatsby’s vows are all addressed to old sport and when the preacher asks if he takes nicholas carraway to be his lawfully wedded husband, gatsby just stands there in confusion for a few minutes and eventually confesses that he has no idea who nicholas carraway is he’s here to marry old sport
(via justintimberloch)
#IS HIS FACE WHEN KIRK AND SPOCK WALK IN #LIKE LEGIT ‘YAY MUM AND DAD ARE HOME DID YOU BRING ME STUFF?’
#it’s like the last day of shore leave #and kirk and spock are just relaxing and all of a sudden kirk is like ”shit! we forgot to get something for the kids!” #and spock is all ”captain you don’t have to get presents for the crew every time - ” #and kirk just interrupts with ”CHEKOV’S FACE.” #and spock considers this and then wordlessly gets up and heads in the direction of the souvenir stand
(via justintimberloch)
im using the school wifi and my teacher’s itunes is like syncing with my itunes and he doesn’t realize it omg he has the weirdest music
(via chainsawpunk)
i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame
(via romulusthread)
i wish i was a mermaid so i could have a nice shiny tail and a pretty seashell bra and a beautiful voice that i could use to entice cute boys and make them crash their ships and drown at sea so human women could rise as the dominate gender of the land
(via beyonsaid)
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
(via somewhatsignificunt)
